One of the most annoying questions comedians get from their friends, family and acquaintances is some belittling version of, "How's your comedy career going?"
Sometimes it comes out as, "Are you still doing that comedy thing?" The implications are both that they expect you to have moved on after you got it out of your system, and that it's not a career for you because you're not famous...it's a thing. "Are you still doing that doctor thing?" You don't hear that too much.
After you bite your tongue so as not to berate them, you politely tell them yes, you're still in comedy. They then proceed to launch into a bunch of different things like trying to tell you a joke, or talking about a famous comic they like, etc. Click here for my post on Things Not To Say To Us After A Show. While it was written to the audience who just saw a show, most of the things they say to us are the same things our family and friends say whenever they see us.
One of the questions they finally settle on is, "When are you playing near me, because I'll come see your act?"
No, they won't.
Oh, they have every intention of coming. Some of them might even make some sort of effort. Yet, by and large, the vast majority of people who tell you they're coming simply don't...even if the show is in their backyard.
To be fair, things come up. Life happens. However, the bottom line is it's just not that important to them, unless you can get them to buy tickets in advance.
Up and coming comedian Jay Watkins (@jaywatkins83 on Twitter) inspired this post. He was coming off a show in NYC where his friends had promised, yet again, to come to a show, and, yet again, failed to show up.
Jay's people go beyond just not showing up. According to him, some of them flat out lie.
Someone once told him they were stuck at home without a ride, yet later posted online from a BBQ that was fifteen driving minutes from where they lived.
Another person said they got there but the show was sold out. Jay sent them a picture of the 10-15 empty seats he was staring at after the show started.
Jay also had someone ask him to record his set and put it up on YouTube. I love this one. You're not important enough for me to get up off of my ass and come see you, I'm certainly not going to pay to see you, but if you do all the work for me, I'll point and click whenever I get around to it.
While Jay probably needs to get new friends, the idea is the same. Excuses upon excuses as to why they don't show up.
If it was really important to them, they would show up; bottom line. If someone wants to do something, they will find a way. Likewise, if someone doesn't want to do something, they will find an excuse. I'm not saying your people actually don't want to see you. I'm saying their perception of what it will take to get a sitter and physically go to and sit through a live comedy show outweighs the ease of staying home or going to Applebee's.
My advice is to not worry about them, and expect nothing. Every time someone tells you they will come see you, understand they probably won't. Don't let it get to you.
Besides, the real problems come with the ones who do come see you!
First and foremost, I cannot tell you how many "friends" think it's funny to tell me they're going to heckle me at the show. I know, 99.9% don't really intend to heckle me, and I would have no problem blowing them out of the water if they did, but it's such a dick thing to say. If I owned a restaurant would you threaten to send back your order, or give me a bad review online before showing up? Shut UP!
Next, watch how fast you're expected to go from comedian to concierge when someone you know is coming to see you. Holy shit!
"Can you get me comps? Can you save me seats? Just put your jacket on a couple of seats for me. How's the layout of the club? I don't want anything too close or too far from the stage. Make sure you say something funny about Bob's job promotion. What time do you go on? Are the other comics funny? Do I have to stay for the whole show? Can you get me backstage?"
Then they call and/or text you when they get to the venue so you can help them, direct them, meet with them, etc. Anything and everything that has to do with them, and nothing that has to do with you preparing for your show or being an actual performer.
"We're here! Where do we park? Did you save us seats? Do we just mention we're here to see you? Okay, we'll be inside in about five or ten minutes, so why don't you wait out front for us so we know where to go?"
If you haven't experienced this yet, you will. There are only two ways to deal with this, one being move out of town and forsake everyone you know.
The other is to pre-frame, or future pace, your people. This technique works wonders in all aspects of life and business. It's preemptive communication; it sets up expectations.
Simply put, tell your people what to expect, where to find info, and what not to expect.
"That's really cool you're coming to the show Friday! The show starts at 9pm, and parking can be tricky if you don't get there early. The best way to get all the info you need and any questions answered, is to call this number (or visit this website) for reservations and information. I'm going to be pretty busy before the show, but would love to hang out with you guys after the show. Thanks again for coming!"
I know, it's like I just told you how to add 2+2, but you would be surprised at how very assumptive people are, and how we typically don't communicate very clearly.
So, this was a happy post, huh? Most of the people you know will tell you they're coming to see you, but never will. And, the small percentage that do come out will likely burden you with all sorts of ancillary crap that gets in the way of you just being a stand-up comedian.
Good news, the hotel down the street is looking for a concierge and you're highly qualified.
Sometimes it comes out as, "Are you still doing that comedy thing?" The implications are both that they expect you to have moved on after you got it out of your system, and that it's not a career for you because you're not famous...it's a thing. "Are you still doing that doctor thing?" You don't hear that too much.
After you bite your tongue so as not to berate them, you politely tell them yes, you're still in comedy. They then proceed to launch into a bunch of different things like trying to tell you a joke, or talking about a famous comic they like, etc. Click here for my post on Things Not To Say To Us After A Show. While it was written to the audience who just saw a show, most of the things they say to us are the same things our family and friends say whenever they see us.
One of the questions they finally settle on is, "When are you playing near me, because I'll come see your act?"
No, they won't.
Oh, they have every intention of coming. Some of them might even make some sort of effort. Yet, by and large, the vast majority of people who tell you they're coming simply don't...even if the show is in their backyard.
To be fair, things come up. Life happens. However, the bottom line is it's just not that important to them, unless you can get them to buy tickets in advance.
Up and coming comedian Jay Watkins (@jaywatkins83 on Twitter) inspired this post. He was coming off a show in NYC where his friends had promised, yet again, to come to a show, and, yet again, failed to show up.
Jay's people go beyond just not showing up. According to him, some of them flat out lie.
Someone once told him they were stuck at home without a ride, yet later posted online from a BBQ that was fifteen driving minutes from where they lived.
Another person said they got there but the show was sold out. Jay sent them a picture of the 10-15 empty seats he was staring at after the show started.
Jay also had someone ask him to record his set and put it up on YouTube. I love this one. You're not important enough for me to get up off of my ass and come see you, I'm certainly not going to pay to see you, but if you do all the work for me, I'll point and click whenever I get around to it.
While Jay probably needs to get new friends, the idea is the same. Excuses upon excuses as to why they don't show up.
If it was really important to them, they would show up; bottom line. If someone wants to do something, they will find a way. Likewise, if someone doesn't want to do something, they will find an excuse. I'm not saying your people actually don't want to see you. I'm saying their perception of what it will take to get a sitter and physically go to and sit through a live comedy show outweighs the ease of staying home or going to Applebee's.
My advice is to not worry about them, and expect nothing. Every time someone tells you they will come see you, understand they probably won't. Don't let it get to you.
Besides, the real problems come with the ones who do come see you!
First and foremost, I cannot tell you how many "friends" think it's funny to tell me they're going to heckle me at the show. I know, 99.9% don't really intend to heckle me, and I would have no problem blowing them out of the water if they did, but it's such a dick thing to say. If I owned a restaurant would you threaten to send back your order, or give me a bad review online before showing up? Shut UP!
Next, watch how fast you're expected to go from comedian to concierge when someone you know is coming to see you. Holy shit!
"Can you get me comps? Can you save me seats? Just put your jacket on a couple of seats for me. How's the layout of the club? I don't want anything too close or too far from the stage. Make sure you say something funny about Bob's job promotion. What time do you go on? Are the other comics funny? Do I have to stay for the whole show? Can you get me backstage?"
Then they call and/or text you when they get to the venue so you can help them, direct them, meet with them, etc. Anything and everything that has to do with them, and nothing that has to do with you preparing for your show or being an actual performer.
"We're here! Where do we park? Did you save us seats? Do we just mention we're here to see you? Okay, we'll be inside in about five or ten minutes, so why don't you wait out front for us so we know where to go?"
If you haven't experienced this yet, you will. There are only two ways to deal with this, one being move out of town and forsake everyone you know.
The other is to pre-frame, or future pace, your people. This technique works wonders in all aspects of life and business. It's preemptive communication; it sets up expectations.
Simply put, tell your people what to expect, where to find info, and what not to expect.
"That's really cool you're coming to the show Friday! The show starts at 9pm, and parking can be tricky if you don't get there early. The best way to get all the info you need and any questions answered, is to call this number (or visit this website) for reservations and information. I'm going to be pretty busy before the show, but would love to hang out with you guys after the show. Thanks again for coming!"
I know, it's like I just told you how to add 2+2, but you would be surprised at how very assumptive people are, and how we typically don't communicate very clearly.
So, this was a happy post, huh? Most of the people you know will tell you they're coming to see you, but never will. And, the small percentage that do come out will likely burden you with all sorts of ancillary crap that gets in the way of you just being a stand-up comedian.
Good news, the hotel down the street is looking for a concierge and you're highly qualified.
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