Now we're censoring ourselves?

Michael Sam was picked by the St. Louis Rams, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL.  When it happened, I tweeted that of all the teams to pick him, of course it had to be the Rams.  A non comic friend replied, "It could have been worse, it could have been the Packers."

Sometimes, the hecklers have better lines and you just need to go with it.  But, I digress...

I'm typically not a topical comic, my set is observational and personal.  Every so often, if something newsworthy comes up, and I happen to have a gig within a few days of it, I'll throw in a joke or two about it.

Most of the time my topical jokes stay in Twitter and Facebook land, with all the other comics' jokes on the same subject.

They should stay there anyway, in my opinion.  In comedy we worry about doing the same premise as another comic, the same joke, or having our jokes stolen.  Doing topical headline jokes, every comic in the known universe is focusing on the same exact subject at the same time as you.  There are going to be tons of the same exact joke.  It's very hard to not be hacky at that point.

But lately it seems comics are doing something strange...they're censoring each other.

It's weird because, these days, it seems that the public is just looking to get offended, especially at a comedy show.  The spot light is on comics because of cringe comedy and rape humor.  Daniel Tosh handles a heckler with a rape joke and all Hell breaks loose.

A lot of famous comics defended Tosh when it happened.  Not necessarily the joke, or even the subject, but the fact that the woman heckled him and it was a comedy show.  Comics cried out about being censored, the public looking to be offended, and you should expect it when you heckle a comic, especially one like Daniel Tosh (come on, have you seen his TV show?).

"The point I was making before I was heckled is there are awful things in the world but you can still make jokes about them." - Daniel Tosh

Locally, and I can only write about what I know and see, most comics seemed to follow suit - defending Tosh's right to say whatever he wants at a comedy show, especially when being heckled.

However, now just two years later, I've seen a ton of local comics cry foul when other comics make jokes about something, or someone, topical that offends them.

Hey, everyone has their threshold, everyone has stuff they hold sacred.  But it goes beyond that.  It's hypocritical, because it's selective.

My joke about Michael Sam was pretty benign.  Personally, I have no problem with Sam declaring he's gay, him playing in the NFL, nor kissing his boyfriend upon hearing he was drafted.  But, as a comic, to me, a gay man drafted by The Rams begs for a joke.  Same with him being given the number 96 on his jersey (I can't believe they did that.  Come ON!)

Yet, I saw many posts from comics...purportedly funny, jovial, jokey comics...all threatening other comics with the dreaded Facebook deletion if they joked about Sam.  Some claimed making jokes about Sam meant you weren't a comic, you were just homophobic.

Same thing with the untimely and tragic death of actor Paul Walker.  Many comics lashed out at those who made jokes about it.

Please.  Because you like the Fast and Furious series, it's offensive to joke about Walker's death, but other deaths and topics are fine?

When I was a kid, a beloved Philadelphia weatherman was killed in a parachuting accident.  Within seconds, kids all over were telling the joke: "What's the last thing that went through Jim O'Brien's mind?  His feet."

I'm not condoning the jokes, but it's always been like that.  And obviously, it's not just from comics.

But let's get back to comics.  Many of the upset comics regarding Walker and/or Sam made missing Malaysian airplane jokes.  So, it's okay to joke about 239 missing, and probably tragically killed, people whose names you don't know, but how dare someone make a joke about a gay football player or Vin Diesel's co-star?

If you enter the topical Twitter, Facebook comedy arena, you have to be prepared for all of it, from every side.   There will be gay jokes, death jokes, racial jokes, political jokes, etc.  Hell, Jimmy Fallon kicks the shit out of the botched roll out of Obamacare every chance he gets on The Tonight Show, and I'm pretty sure he's an Obama supporter.  Topical comedy knows no bounds.

Be offended when the joke isn't funny, to anybody...not just to you.  That means the comic just sucks.  THAT'S offensive.

Really, stop being a hypocritical baby.  I don't like all of the jokes out there.  I think some are "too soon," or hurtful for the sake of being hurtful.  But, comics have the right to say what they want, both on stage and on their status/page.  And, if they bring the joke to the stage, the audience's response will tell them if they have a good joke or went too far.

However, if this is truly a hill you want to die on, topical comedy censor, then make sure you're not standing in that proverbial glass house when you cast your stones.  Make sure you're not just being selectively offended.  Next time you're ready to post a topical joke, make sure you can't possibly offend anyone with it.  Only then, when your house is in order, will I even consider listening to you complain.

Who am I kidding?  I probably still won't give a rat's ass.

Your ego is WAY out of line

In my last post, 6 Tips for a Great Open Mic, I mentioned that having people critique you is essential to the process of your comedy career.  At the same time, many comics won't stand for that; they don't let anyone tell them anything, good or bad, about their act.  They don't accept tweaks, punchlines, tag lines, set-up trimming or anything else.

Well, this video shows the biggest comic in the country, who is in movies, and who writes, directs, edits and stars in his own TV series on FX, explaining how he's about to host Saturday Night Live for the SECOND time, and HE needs to have someone edit his set.  He needs outside critiquing so he can tell if his jokes are funny, or not.

Louis C. K. on Opie & Anthony discussing his SNL monologue (NSFW)

What can I possibly add to this that isn't mentioned in the video?  If you don't get how huge your ego is for thinking that everything you write and everything that comes out of your mouth is the funniest thing ever, you need an intervention.

It's 5:36 long, and we would all do well to watch it over and over.

This video was brought to my attention when comedian Mike Sgroi shared it on his Facebook status.  Mike writes and interviews for AmericasComedy online, which also has a page on Facebook at AmericasComedyFanPage.

6 Tips for a Great Open Mic

In my last post, Are You Screwing Up Your Open Mic?, I wrote about how the typical open mic can actually be detrimental to a comic's career, based on the way many are being run.  Below are some tips on how to make a great open mic.

As you probably already know, there are typically three types of open mics:

1. Club open mics are run by the club, have their own set of rules and come with the onus of wanting to do well in front of possible club reps so you can get into the club.  Veteran comics use the club mic to sharpen their skills and work new stuff out, while newer comics are generally trying to get in the club with their best three minutes.

2. Full show open mics are just that, a show with an MC and closer.  Notice, I wrote closer, not headliner.  Typically, the closer is a really good MC or a feature in the area because the money is minimal.  You're charging people to come out on a Tuesday for a show that's basically ten open mikers in between an MC and maybe another MC.  You're probably not going to be able to charge more than $5.

3.  Of course, the typical open mic is a bunch of comics in a bar/restaurant with one of them starting off as the MC.  Usually, there is no charge but you're expected to eat and drink at the establishment to keep using the place for free.  Sometimes you get a private room and sometimes it's in the main room with built in audience not paying attention while they drink their beer and watch sports.  Sometimes, these also are open to musicians.
 
For the purposes of the information below, I'm not including club run/sanctioned open mics.  As I mentioned above, club mics are a different animal. 


WAYS TO MAKE YOUR OPEN MIC GREAT

1.  PROMOTE IT!!!  Not just the person who started it, but EVERYONE who typically goes to the open mic should promote it.  It should be treated like a real show.  I don't think it's done on purpose, but it's really weird to me that some open mics seem to be kept secret.  There is no point to that.  In fact, that's the opposite of what an open mic should be (notice the name: OPEN mic).  It's probably more a case of comics just not thinking about promoting it rather than purposely keeping it private, but it happens a lot.

You want a steady flux of comics coming in, whether they're on the road and stopping by, new to the area, or just looking for a few minutes of stage time.  If you see the same faces every week, it tends to become more of a coffee klatch (okay, beer klatch).  I know, that's a bit harsh since we all live where we live.  My point is try to get new blood in as often as possible.

In addition to posting it in the various comedian Facebook groups and your own page, you can list your open mic on BadSlava.  It seems pretty thorough, however I noticed some old, cancelled mics on the list.  Apparently, once a mic dies no one thinks to let the site know it's done.

And, you really want an audience, too, if you can manage.  Did your joke just kill because the comics all know you, or was it really funny?  If a bunch of strangers laugh, that's a better indicator.  Conversely, comics can also be stingy with the laughs.  So, you might have the greatest punchline since Henny Youngman, but your faux hipster cool colleagues are too busy tweeting an ironic reference to laugh.

2. SET SOME RULES - I know, we got into comedy because there are no rules.  Bullshit.  Do a blue set at a corporate gig, and, as you come home without your check, see if that booker, or company, ever books you again.  Or, blow through the light at a club and see how long it takes you to get back in, if ever.

Cram it up your cram hole, Lafleur, there are rules in comedy and you know it.  Deal with it.

The rules should mimic club rules.  Comics should get there early, as per sign up times.  They should obey the light.  No heckling.  Pay attention.  Don't talk during other people's sets.  Be a good audience for your fellow comics.  They should be expected to stay for the whole show.  And, laugh, dammit!

It's up to you how you want to treat comics who come in late, but club open mics won't let a comic go on.  Also, if you let one person come in late, eventually everyone will start to show up late.

Don't be afraid to set ground rules regarding type of material, especially if you're charging people to be there.  Obviously it's an open mic and comics should be free to explore, but you don't want your audience walking out.  There's a difference between a comic trying to go blue with a bit and a person who seemingly just heard his/her voice over a PA for the first time and loves the way cocksucker sounds every three seconds.  Well, who doesn't, but still.

3. LEARN TO HOLD YOUR LIQUOR - Really, don't drink...that much.  If you need a couple shots to get the nerve to go on stage, so be it.  If you think you can have great timing and do a great set while buzzed, who am I to tell you not to have a few beers?  But, when you start to stumble, slur your words, spit out 53 "fucks" and a few racial slurs in a four minute set, etc., you can't hold your liquor.

If you do it once, that's okay.  Learn from it.

If it's your "thing" then you're more of an alcoholic than a comedian.  Get help.  Seriously.

If you're in charge, and the person keeps getting sloppy drunk, you have three options:
A. Kick 'em out all together; ban them
B. Always put them on first, so they can't be drunk on stage unless they show up drunk (which is really messed up)
C. Always put them on last, so they don't mess up the show or walk the audience.  Of course, they may get loud and obnoxious waiting all that time, so option A might be the best bet.

4. LEADERSHIP - If you're just looking for a place to hang, then this whole post has been lost on you.  However, if you're looking to really hone your skills and move up in the comedy world, you will either want to take ownership of the open mic, so as to enforce the rules, or elect leadership for that purpose.

I know, I know, more business world crap that you were trying to escape by being a comedian, but come on, most of us have full time jobs anyway while we try to make it in comedy.  It's not a foreign concept.

Besides, I'm not talking about quorums and board meetings with votes and Robert's Rules.  I'm simply talking about one or two people who are tasked with enforcing the rules, policing the event and talking straight to comics who cause problems.

Just like you hope the clubs you play have security to handle obnoxious patrons, you want everyone at your open mic to behave professionally.

Remember, the venue owner wants to make a profit, he/she's hoping you eat and drink and attract a crowd.  Throwing up on the stage, or complaints from patrons will spell doom for your open mic.

5. CLEAR COMMUNICATION - As with any facet of life, clear communication is key.  That means clearly stating the rules you have for your mic.  Post them on the sign up sheet, on the door or tables at the venue, and consider having the MC run through them at the start of the show.

This also means talking straight to comics who violate the rules.  It sucks, but this is your open mic, your career.  If someone can't respect that, can't be professional, they need to be told to shape up or ship out. 

Nothing's worse than going to the open mic you know is going to get ruined because Skippy won't shut up and no one will say anything to him because they don't wanna harsh his mellow.

6. CRITIQUES - One of the toughest things to do as a comic is to get better.  That's because we typically don't have mentors.  We don't tape our sets enough, and critique them.  And we certainly don't like other comics telling us what we should or shouldn't do in our acts.

Really, we all have huge egos, and if we wrote something, we know for sure it's comedy gold, dammit!

If you choose, you could have all the comics at the mic take notes, or you could designate some more veteran/accomplished comics to do it.  You might even be able to get a headliner, or known comic, in your area to come in as a guest to do the critiquing.  Best case scenario for that would be to have a full show where he/she is the closer and gets paid a little something, but you never know.  Some comics enjoy helping others for no other reason than helping others.

It's a delicate situation, because, again, most of us don't take too well to being told what we didn't do well.  Therefore, you need to make a policy of telling the comic what they did well to go along with any critique.  And, let any comics opt out if they don't want to be critiqued.

It might not be feasible to have the critiques on the same night as the open mic, and nothing says they have to be done in front of everyone else.  But being given a tag line by a veteran comic is invaluable.  Being shown how to make the set up to a joke that much shorter will do wonders for your act.


***

If the only things you can do from this list are promote your open mic and not get sloppy drunk, that's a plus.  You might not have the power, nor the will to run an open mic like I suggested.  And that's fine.

Just be aware of the list, and make sure you are doing your absolute best to utilize the mic for what it's supposed to be...a tool to help you get better.

(UPDATE) Since I first wrote this a video regarding critiquing has come to my attention.  Click here to go to my next blog post with the video.

Are you screwing up your open mic?

It's Wednesday night again, time for the local open mic.  There's Bob and Sally.  Here comes Sue and John.  Cletus and Marge texted they were running late, but please order their usual jalapeno poppers so they come out just as the two of them arrive.

It's Cliff's turn to host; actually, he started the thing so he hosts pretty much every week.

A couple of beers later, just after Angie does a pretty good four minutes on how her boyfriend's an asshole, Ralph takes the stage.

Ralph goes up and after a couple throw away lines, nails Jason with an inside joke one-liner that makes all the comics laugh.  Then he does a call-back to something in his larger set, but not something he did tonight.  The comics all snicker and snort with familiar delight.  Ralph smirks, throws up the double peace signs and says, "That's my time, fuckers!"  Everyone screams for joy.

If I just described your open mic, it's not really helping you in your comedy career (or Ralph's).

Open mics are for stage time.  Open mics are for practice.  Open mics are for sharpening your bits.  Open mics are for hashing out new bits.  Open mics are for a lot of things.  They are a useful tool to help comics...new, veteran and famous.

Open mics are NOT supposed to be inside joke-laden clique fests.  Yet, many become just that.

Do your best to not allow yours to fall into the clique trap.  Or, if you have no control over the event, rotate through different open mics, or leave that one all together.  It's not helping you.  Side note: you should be going to as many open mics as you can, so rotating through different ones is a good idea even your home open mic is stellar.

The issue is that we want the laugh, and we're typically afraid to fail.  We're especially afraid to fail in front of our friends.  When you hang out with the same group of comics, they become your friends. 

So, rather than try something you just came up with, to see where it goes, you go to your A-list stuff that you know works.  Or, you rip on the other comics in the room, or rip the room.  Etc. etc., you get the idea.

But getting the easy laugh in front of your gang doesn't help your career.

 "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." 

- Winston Churchill

While Churchill's quote can be applied to many aspects of your comedy career, it shows up easily in the beginning at open mics.  The best way to learn is through failure.  That's why Domino's Pizza has their new commercials where they say failure IS an option.  They encourage their chef's to try everything.  Regardless of if you like Domino's pizza, they are a hugely successful company, and have been for many years.

If your goal is to succeed by making the other comics laugh at your open mics, I feel you're missing the point.  Killing at an open mic doesn't necessarily translate to killing at paid gigs.

Furthermore, the more comfortable you get with something, the less enthusiasm you will have for it.  Think of sports teams that get rid of managers who've won for them in the past.  Did the manager suddenly suck?  No, the team got comfortable with the manager and slacked off while the manager got comfortable with the team and didn't challenge them anymore.

The way to move forward in anything is to continually challenge yourself.  That way you'll rise to the occasion, or at least raise your game a notch trying.  Doing the same open mic, with the same people, week after week can have you fall into a rut.

So, if it's not workable for you to go to more, or different open mics, you need to do your best to make yours the best it can be for you (and for the other comics).

Click here to go to my my next post, where I give you some tips to make your open mic great.

Are you still doing that comedy thing?

One of the most annoying questions comedians get from their friends, family and acquaintances is some belittling version of, "How's your comedy career going?"

Sometimes it comes out as, "Are you still doing that comedy thing?"  The implications are both that they expect you to have moved on after you got it out of your system, and that it's not a career for you because you're not famous...it's a thing.  "Are you still doing that doctor thing?"  You don't hear that too much.

After you bite your tongue so as not to berate them, you politely tell them yes, you're still in comedy.  They then proceed to launch into a bunch of different things like trying to tell you a joke, or talking about a famous comic they like, etc.  Click here for my post on Things Not To Say To Us After A Show.  While it was written to the audience who just saw a show, most of the things they say to us are the same things our family and friends say whenever they see us.

One of the questions they finally settle on is, "When are you playing near me, because I'll come see your act?"

No, they won't.

Oh, they have every intention of coming.  Some of them might even make some sort of effort.  Yet, by and large, the vast majority of people who tell you they're coming simply don't...even if the show is in their backyard.

To be fair, things come up.  Life happens.  However, the bottom line is it's just not that important to them, unless you can get them to buy tickets in advance.

Up and coming comedian Jay Watkins (@jaywatkins83 on Twitter) inspired this post.  He was coming off a show in NYC where his friends had promised, yet again, to come to a show, and, yet again, failed to show up.

Jay's people go beyond just not showing up.  According to him, some of them flat out lie.

Someone once told him they were stuck at home without a ride, yet later posted online from a BBQ that was fifteen driving minutes from where they lived.

Another person said they got there but the show was sold out.  Jay sent them a picture of the 10-15 empty seats he was staring at after the show started.

Jay also had someone ask him to record his set and put it up on YouTube.  I love this one.  You're not important enough for me to get up off of my ass and come see you, I'm certainly not going to pay to see you, but if you do all the work for me, I'll point and click whenever I get around to it.

While Jay probably needs to get new friends, the idea is the same.  Excuses upon excuses as to why they don't show up.

If it was really important to them, they would show up; bottom line.  If someone wants to do something, they will find a way.  Likewise, if someone doesn't want to do something, they will find an excuse.  I'm not saying your people actually don't want to see you.  I'm saying their perception of what it will take to get a sitter and physically go to and sit through a live comedy show outweighs the ease of staying home or going to Applebee's.

My advice is to not worry about them, and expect nothing.  Every time someone tells you they will come see you, understand they probably won't.  Don't let it get to you.

Besides, the real problems come with the ones who do come see you!

First and foremost, I cannot tell you how many "friends" think it's funny to tell me they're going to heckle me at the show.  I know, 99.9% don't really intend to heckle me, and I would have no problem blowing them out of the water if they did, but it's such a dick thing to say.  If I owned a restaurant would you threaten to send back your order, or give me a bad review online before showing up?  Shut UP!

Next, watch how fast you're expected to go from comedian to concierge when someone you know is coming to see you.  Holy shit!

"Can you get me comps?  Can you save me seats?  Just put your jacket on a couple of seats for me.  How's the layout of the club?  I don't want anything too close or too far from the stage.  Make sure you say something funny about Bob's job promotion.  What time do you go on?  Are the other comics funny?  Do I have to stay for the whole show?  Can you get me backstage?"

Then they call and/or text you when they get to the venue so you can help them, direct them, meet with them, etc.  Anything and everything that has to do with them, and nothing that has to do with you preparing for your show or being an actual performer.

"We're here!  Where do we park?  Did you save us seats?  Do we just mention we're here to see you?  Okay, we'll be inside in about five or ten minutes, so why don't you wait out front for us so we know where to go?"

If you haven't experienced this yet, you will.  There are only two ways to deal with this, one being move out of town and forsake everyone you know.

The other is to pre-frame, or future pace, your people.  This technique works wonders in all aspects of life and business.  It's preemptive communication; it sets up expectations.

Simply put, tell your people what to expect, where to find info, and what not to expect.

"That's really cool you're coming to the show Friday!  The show starts at 9pm, and parking can be tricky if you don't get there early.  The best way to get all the info you need and any questions answered, is to call this number (or visit this website) for reservations and information.  I'm going to be pretty busy before the show, but would love to hang out with you guys after the show.  Thanks again for coming!"

I know, it's like I just told you how to add 2+2, but you would be surprised at how very assumptive people are, and how we typically don't communicate very clearly.

So, this was a happy post, huh?  Most of the people you know will tell you they're coming to see you, but never will.  And, the small percentage that do come out will likely burden you with all sorts of ancillary crap that gets in the way of you just being a stand-up comedian.

Good news, the hotel down the street is looking for a concierge and you're highly qualified.

Joke Thieves

If you look up the definition of comedian, or stand up comedy, you'll read all about performing.  There is not one mention of writing, or performing "one's own material."

Yet, unless you're a late night talk show host, it's pretty much an unwritten rule of stand up comedy that your set is supposed to be your own, for the most part.

Of course there are comics who use the occasional "two guys walk into a bar" type jokes that they obviously didn't write themselves.  And, there are a few comics who buy jokes from writers or other comics...however, those jokes are supposed to only be used by the comic who bought them.

For the most part, your set is supposed to be your own; something pretty much only you do on stage, the product of jokes and stories that you created.

Yet, I constantly hear about joke thieves...comics who steal other comics' jokes and bits.

Why steal jokes?  More importantly, why do you want to get the reputation for being a thief?

Okay, back in the day when times were different, if you were a Vaudeville, or, later, a Catskills, comic, you were expected to keep coming up with new jokes and routines, almost nightly.  Still, joke stealing was frowned upon, and caused many a physical fight.

I know, Milton Berle used to be infamous for lifting a joke from other comics.  That doesn't mean the other comics liked it.

Click here for a link to a Time Magazine article about Patton Oswalt's take on joke thieves, based on his June 2013 blog post titled "A Closed Letter To Myself About Thievery, Heckling And Rape Jokes."

Click here for Patton Oswalt's blog post in full.

Actually, in doing what minimal research I do for my posts, when I came across Mr. Oswalt's post, I started to feel like this post might be considered stealing from his post.

So, just know that I started writing this post based on my personal experiences and conversations with other comedians BEFORE I read Oswalt's post.

Patton Oswalt is one of my favorite comedians working today; he's brilliant.  Really, you should stop reading my post and read his right now.  Then YouTube him for countless hours (two of my favorite clips are "comedy magician" and "Stella Dora"), buy a CD/DVD/download, and then buy two tickets to his next show in your area.

Patton Oswalt - he'll bust a cap in your ass if you steal his jokes

In his post, it's clear Oswalt abhors joke thieves, and he offers some insightful reasons as to why comics might steal jokes.  But, I'm still not satisfied.  I really want to know why this happens.

I'm not talking about accidentally doing the same premise, or even the situation Oswalt describes where he misremembered having come up with a joke early in his career that was really a joke he saw another comic do on TV.

In fact, I'm not even talking about the purposeful pilfering of one joke.  I don't condone that, it's still stealing, but I'm talking about something else.

I'm talking about the continual stealing of jokes, and, worse yet, whole bits or segments.

Why would you do that?

Before I ever got into standup, I could recite George Carlin's A Place For My Stuff album verbatim, voice inflections and all.  Big fat hairy deal.  How many clubs would I have gotten into if I just went up and recited Carlin's act?  And let's say I got passed by some younger bookers/owners who didn't recognize the bits.  Eventually, someone would've said something.  I'd either never get booked again, or have one chance to shit or get off the pot with my own material...and I'd fail miserably if I was relying on reciting stolen routines.  

George Carlin - A Place For My Stuff (whole album)

That's what a joke thief is, someone who can recite other people's stuff.  A thief apparently thinks so little of themselves, and also doesn't care about the other comic(s) they steal from, either.  The other comic came up with the bit, worked it out at open mics, and got it to the point where it made the audience laugh.  The thief just takes the fruit of all that labor without putting in any of the actual labor.

The joke thief would have probably taken steroids if they played professional baseball.  Anything to get an edge.  Actually, that analogy doesn't work, because professional ball players have put in the work.  They already have talent, they're just looking to enhance it.

Then there's the thief who does the stolen material IN FRONT of the comic they stole it from!!  WTMF is that???  Who has that kind of balls??  And why?  Are they trying to get caught?  Beat up?  What?

Sometimes, a thief takes a bit and forgets where they got it from.  Sometimes they inadvertently end up working with the comic they took the bit from, and SURPRISE!  That's why you should always watch the show, no matter which slot you have.  You're always looking out for someone doing the same premise as you, so you can acknowledge or avoid it when you go up.  And, apparently, you also need to know if the comics before you took your shit and did it ahead of you.

But, I've heard of thieves taking jokes from comics they're working with that week and using the comic's jokes in front of them the next night!!!  Wow.  Why don't you kick their dog and take a shit on their shoe while you're at it?  I'm not sure if that's total, obnoxious arrogance, or total, obnoxious ignorance, but it's something.

I want to know, are joke thieves oblivious to the reputation they get, or do they just not give a shit?  Does the potential for getting laughs outweigh the concern of being liked by your peer comics?

I wish I could tell you that owners have standards when it comes to stealing.  Some do, most don't.  If the thief is getting laughs, the owner is typically happy.  If you complain, most times you will be told to deal directly with the thief, as it's not the owner's problem.

If you're worried about people stealing your jokes, one of the things I've heard over and over again from comics is to make your jokes as personal to you as you can.  If you're a 40-something divorced African American woman with two devilish kids, that's something a 30 year old white guy can't make his own.  Now, if that same woman just did topical humor, or did typical male vs. female or black vs. white humor, her jokes would be more susceptible to being stolen.

In the grand scheme of Wars On (insert your issue here), joke thieves won't insight the masses like the Wars On Guns, Drugs or Christmas.  However, the results will be the same.  Christmas isn't going away, kids.  Neither are joke thieves.

I think we, as comics, should speak up whenever we see it happening.  I'm not advocating getting into a fight because you saw Sally Smith do Bob Jones' set on going to the movies.  And I'm certainly not saying you should say something based on hearsay.

I know there's a fear of repercussion if you confront the thief, or even tell the manager/owner.  Even so, shouldn't you at least tell the comic whose jokes were stolen?

I get it.  We're usually conditioned to not get involved, to look the other way.  But as hard as this business is to break into, to get paid, to make a living and to go beyond that, shouldn't we at least consider policing and protecting our chosen profession?

What if you were the comic who had their stuff stolen?

Are you a "cringe comic"? If so, why?

As news broke of Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling's disturbingly racist voice mail to his girlfriend, it brought to mind some recent stuff I had seen in the comedy world.

I'm noticing a lot of newer comics trying to shock the audience, make them cringe; some using racial slurs under the guise of comedy.

Lots of times, it seems like becoming a comic gives someone a false sense of power from the start.  Make no mistake, when you have the microphone and you're up on stage, you do have some power.  It's up to you how much you have and how you use it.

Many comics can't handle that much power that quickly (this is the part where you keep mentally quoting Uncle Ben in Spiderman, "With great power comes great responsibility.").  So many new comics over-curse (cuss?), partly because they don't have great material and partly because they just want to say "fuck" 400 times.  It's like the microphone and stage are a license to... well...shock people; make them cringe.

The problem is when cringe isn't funny.  If you were shockingly funny, that would be a thing.

But you're not.  Most new comics aren't.

And when you're not, you walk people, you piss people off, and you don't get paid gigs.

Rape seems to be the new "airplane food" among new comics, male and female.  My question is, "Why?"  If you're trying to get a killer five minute set, expand to ten minutes, audition at a club with a guest set, or get a paid MC gig, is you're "brilliant" take on rape going to work for that?

If you said yes, you're either a complete moron, or you really do have a tried and true brilliant rape set that both men and women laugh so hard at they need oxygen.  I'm betting on the former.

The same thing goes for white people using the N-word.  Just stop.  You're embarrassing yourself, or worse.

My buddy Richie Redding is a white comic that grew up playing urban rooms; he has over eleven years experience in those rooms.  He spent the last few months opening for Katt Williams around the country.

Urban audiences LOVE Richie, and Richie NEVER uses the N-word.  And, he wouldn't dare use the word.  Yet, he, of all people, might be able to get away with it.

Richie says his jokes are "racial, not racist."  He says the key is to show himself as vulnerable and to "joke up" rather than "talk down" to his audience.  He says it wouldn't work if he came from the standpoint of "It's like this."

I honestly can't do justice to the conversation I had with Richie (I'm not a goddamn reporter, I didn't tape the conversation, what do you want from me?), but you don't have to be a genius to see that eleven years of urban rooms, topped off with opening for one of the hottest urban comics in the country means Richie knows what he's talking about.

Talking to Richie, he said newer comics seem to point to Louis C.K., who does a bit on the N-word, in which he says the actual word a lot, as justification for why they use it, or why they go for the cringe, in general.

Richie shares a lot of veteran comics' views when he says there's a huge difference...because Louis C.K. has been working for thirty years, has a following, and, oh yeah, he's funny.

 Louis C.K. on the "N-word"

CAUTION: he says the actual word!  A lot.

Comparing yourself to Louis C. K. is like going golfing once a week for a few months and comparing yourself to Tiger Woods.  Comics like Louis C. K. are in the major leagues, and you're playing T-ball, if you'll permit me to mix sports metaphors.  I'm not saying you won't get there, I'm saying you have quite a long while to go.  

You have to keep your eye on the prize, long term.  If you're in comedy to become the next C. K., the next Richie Redding, or the next headliner at your local club, you can only do that when you get consistent gigs.

Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your thing, and I'm certainly not advocating censoring comics.  If you really want to be a cringe comic, I'm not qualified to tell you that's not right.  Have at it, if it's your calling.  But, you need to know two things:  1.  Above all, it has to be funny, and, 2.  You're going to have a long road to hoe because it's tougher to get booked, and keep getting booked, if you're going for the cringe factor.

And, most newer comics aren't qualified to self-determine if something's funny or not.  If you've ever gone on stage with a joke, bit, or set that bombed then you know my previous sentence is true.

I'll give you a hint:  if people aren't laughing, it's not funny.  If people are walking out, it's not funny.

Furthermore, you have to grasp the concept that if you walk even just two people, you potentially walked the whole room.  Sure, some people are easily offended, but to get up and walk out of a show they paid a ticket for means something.  The reasons the rest of the people haven't walked could be because maybe they are hoping the next comic(s) will be funny, maybe they personally don't like to raise a stink...they avoid conflict in their lives, could be they plunked down some hard-earned cash and want to get the full show for their money, or maybe this was a rare night out and they didn't want to end it early by leaving part way through the show.

Whatever the reason, all of the people that stayed saw the people get up and walk out of the show in the middle of your set, even if it was only one couple.  That changes to atmosphere of the room.  It's now awkward.

That escalated quickly

Congratulations.  Not only is the owner mad at you for costing him/her food and drink money in the short term and loss of customers in the long term...that couple, and probably others, won't be coming back...you've also fucked up the show for the other comics on the bill.  Now, the next comic has to dig out of a hole you created.  He or she almost HAS to acknowledge what happened and may have to rip on you to win the audience back...neither of which was in their planned set nor may play to their comedy voice/stage persona.  

In my opinion, the way to be a cringe comic is to ease into it; don't try to do it right out of the gate.  If you have a really good five or ten minute set, high amount of laughs per minute, then you can start to add some of your more shocking jokes, little by little.  Eventually most of your set will be cringe jokes that will be tried and true, FUNNY jokes.

BONUS:  you'll ALSO have already created a club worthy, fundraiser worthy, dare I say corporate gig worthy set as well...so you can get all kinds of bookings.

If after reading this, you're still a dyed in the wool cringe comic then I wish you good luck.  I want every comic to succeed.  Just don't be upset when you aren't getting booked; and please, do us all a favor...stop comparing yourself to famous comics.